Well, this is strange but i think its going to make me feel better as i might feel like im getting somewhere lol.
I am a resident fuck up...its something i do so well, but i realise also that im the only person that can change that, and the results i give. I mean, no one else is in control of my life, i have to take responsibility at some point, even thought its a little out of the comfort zone i spend so much time in. I have a Mum who would love to control everything i do, which isnt bad in some ways, and it is in others. Im 19, I'm in my 3rd and final year of college and i live at home with my mum and my stepdad. I've applied to 5 uni's and have been accepted to them all, on a Law degree, and i have avery loving boyfriend, so why am i not happy? Well, i ask myself this several times in a week, and i always get the same answer. Im bloody ungreatful. Then i think wat do i not like...i hurt people. I really hate that. I hurt a friend recently, and he's really hurt and i care about him a lot. I know he wont read this to make it any better, but if anyone thinks they have hurt people, the word sorry isnt enough.
Im going to make it my mission to make myself happy, and to make those around me happy...
Sam
(20.5.08)
